LOST IN THE SPARKLE

I don't think most of us walk around every seconds of the day thinking about our dreams, and fulfilling our deepest desires. No, we are usually too busy dealing with the inner working of everyday life. Getting up, getting coffee, listening to see if we are at war and going to work. Then comes lunchtime. I usually take a stroll, just to get out and catch my breath. Up to Bristol Farms to grab a bite. And sometimes I just walk around the store and watch people. Last week I decided to buy a sandwich from the deli counter. It was late afternoon. Not too busy. As I waited for my order. I saw this beautiful young woman, maybe 28 years old, tall, slim, but shapely, black hair. Ethnically exotic. She was wearing blue jeans, fitted top, and sandals. She carried a Louis Vitton bag and on her left hand she had the most beautiful diamond ring. A four-carat diamond with tiny diamond adorning even the band. I got lost in the sparkle.

It was the image of a perfect life. A beautiful woman madly in love with a wonderful man. Planning a lavish wedding at sundown. A romantic honeymoon in Tahiti. Probably living in an exquisite Spanish villa and planning to have three kids. Even if the rest didn't exist they must be deeply in love. That type of ring reads love and a perfect life. I know the notion of perfect is debatable. But we always see someone else's life as perfect and ours as just that life. I literally shook myself out of the daze. I looked back at her and smiled. And I wonder if she was happy.

I remember being in love. What a beautiful feeling I had when I was in love. The 1>tenderness of a touch that makes your heart beat fast. The sweet innocence of time spent together and even when you are alone knowing that soon you will be together and time would then stand still. And how that first kiss holds all the hope of a life together forever and ever.

I was standing maybe three feet from her. I leaned over and said. "I hope the man you are going to marry is as wonderful as that ring is?" I just wanted to know. If her life was real. I've really given up having that feeling again. I've been married and I know how painful it is to love and even more painful to break up. I've actually thought that I would buy >myself my own ring. You don't find happiness in someone else's life only in yourself. I mean when you think about it. We are born alone and we die alone. I belong to me. I have to love me and take care of me. But I just wanted to know if her life was perfect. She looked at me for a moment. "no, he's not. I just decided today I'm not going to marry him."

I felt badly. There I was trying to confirm a fantasy and I was thrown back into reality.